Friday, March 30, 2007

Officially 3 1/2!!!

So I missed it by a day... to post Trevor's actual half birthday mark... yesterday he turned 3 1/2 officially! ; ) Actually I feel lately like I have been missing a lot of things.... and not just in this blog... in LIFE! I'm feeling kind of bad about it and I know I should be. : ( I have three amazing children! Trevor is the cutest ~ most loving, happy, smiling, full of energy, smart, outgoing, funny, clever, WONDERFUL little boy I have ever met... his is a dream! Lauren is just such a little princess.... with a wild side! She is beautiful, smart, funny, shy, loving, concerned, serious... she is just so WONDERFUL! Brooke is a little princess too, but with a little bit more of a wild side. She is so beautiful, funny, outgoing, silly, loving, a little ham, mommy's girl... she is just so WONDERFUL!
I know all this and I know it all the time, but I don't always have it in the fore front of my mind. I don't do things with them that I should and when I do it is only for a few minutes and I'm rushing to do something else. : ( I hardly ever just play with them... I hardly ever let them do what they want to do and make a mess and just deal with it... I need to do that more. I'm wasting precious time with them worrying about having to clean up later... so what. Our house is not a hospital, it doesn't have to be immaculant... it is what it is... and to us it is HOME... I should just let things be for a day, at least one day, and just love you and play with you and not worry about a thing... but seeing you all smile. I love to see them smile and have their eyes light up and be so happy and excited... I love that so much! They are my world, but lately I have been letting everything else dictate when and what I am going to do with them... like laundry and dishes and this damn computer... and it is terrible! I don't want to be that kind of mom... I don't want to be and they don't deserve that... they are all so amazing and they deserve better then I am giving them... they need and should have more from me. I want to be a better mom, and I'm going to be a better mom! I wanted them, I couldn't live without them, and I love them more then life itself and it is time to show that. So I'm going to get my ass off this computer and stop typing on here, b/c I can do this later... and while everyone is napping.. I'm going to do whatever I have to have done for later... so that when they wake up I can just be with them, and LOVE them, and play with them... I'm starting today to be a better mom!


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