Is It Ever Okay To Cheat?

Is there ever a time that it's sort of, a little tiny bit, make an exception, turn a blind eye and cheat?? I have been struggling with this question myself. Last weekend, I worked on my homework on Saturday and Sunday being careful to do a really good job, striving for that 100. I felt good. I had read and re-read the chapter, I had studied and knew my stuff. I got to class on Monday morning (different class than I usually am in because of the kids being sick with the flu and my gracious parents being able to miss work to watch them for me) :) and everyone is talking about HW chapter 38. Well hell, I had done chapter 35! shit! What to do now. UGH!! My face got flushed. I was feeling so hot, and for some reason tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't believe that I had worked so hard on the WRONG homework! I was upset and disappointed and so frustrated with myself, and to top it all off, I was going to get a ZERO! Great. That will average in so nicely to my GPA. I just felt like giving up and going home. The girl next to me Erika, so sweet as she was, said, "do it now. you have a few minutes. try, it wasn't that hard" but I hadn't read the chapter at all, I had no idea what any of it was, and at that time, I couldn't think. My head hurt, my throat was burning my eyes were holding back tears, and I just was so upset. She slid her book closer to mine and said "here... "
I looked around the room. I looked at her. I wasn't sure what to do. I felt this horrible tug-of-war in my head, should I? shouldn't I? What was the right thing to do? It wasn't like I had just not done the homework, it wasn't like I hadn't worked my butt off, but it was my responsibility to make sure I did the RIGHT homework, and I hadn't... what to do, what to do??
I said "thank you so much. I owe you!!" and I copied. I got a 90 and not a zero.
I'm still so unsure how I feel about this. Cheating is cheating. Cheating is wrong. way wrong. BUT, for some reason I can totally justify it in my head. I have three sick children at home. I did do my own work, just the wrong work. I hadn't been slacking, I just made a simple mistake, I wouldn't cheat just because I was being lazy or on a test or quiz or anything like that. It was a homework, it was semi-wrong to do, but I haven't done it before and hopefully will NOT do it again.
So then the battle that begins inside me now is why don't I feel so horribly wrong for cheating on my homework?? Why can I sort of justify it to myself? & How do I ever really thank Erika for saving me all that self-anger and frustration??
I did come home and read chapter 38 ~ did the questions myself and studied it all... I Aced the test on it too. I did put in my time, I just didn't do it at the right time. ~ I did learn a lesson, that I have to double check my calendar to make sure I'm doing the right homework. And, honestly I really triple check it and sometimes more, and made a list in order of the homework chapters I have to do and triple checked that too!
So do you think there is ever a time when cheating is okay?

~thank God for a blog!

i'm sitting here with tears welling up in my eyes. i'm having a really rough day. ~ i was yelling all morning at the kids, and now have to go off to school instead of staying at their school and doing fun things with them, that i should be there for.

i thought i'd let them sleep in and i'd drive them to school instead of them taking the bus, which comes at 8 AM, not that early but we get up around 7 to get ready in time. ~ well first we couldn't find Lauren's lunch bag, then nobody wanted to wear what i had out for them, it was one fight after another, about everything. breakfast, what they wanted for lunch, clothes, brushing teeth, washing hands and faces, what shoes, putting shoes on, coats, everything. i'm drained. and the worst part is, i yelled pretty much all morning. how horrible. :( on the way to school i apologized and we fixed things, but still not a good morning for any of us, I'm sure.

then i take Trevor to school, he is okay and happy, and the girls are just miserable. they cried the entire way to the truck... i'm not even sure what they were fussing about. :( ~ but we get in the truck, put the music up, sing and dance and be silly, things are looking okay. we get to the school, they don't want to go. not even Brooke, who LOVES school and has NEVER not wanted to go... ugh. my heart is breaking. i get them out. they go in the school they are both really clingy. they are doing trunk-or-treating at their school today... i cant be there. i can't help out. can't decorate my truck and give candy, i can't even go with them... bc i have school. :( mommy guilt has set in BIG TIME. then they don't want to wear their costumes, or do anything. they just want to go home. :( i'm sure they are fine now, but still my heart is breaking.

sometimes, i have a really hard time with wondering if i'm making the right choices in my life, or even just making good choices. who knows what is right.... but we do know good from bad, right? school is good. i guess. it's taking a lot of time away from my family and mostly my kids. i feel it. i'm sure they feel it. who is it going to benefit? how will it benefit them? i'm stressed. i'm lost. i want to go get my kids from school, take them to lunch and chase them on the playground. i want to bring them home and make Halloween decorations and make cookies and watch movies all snuggled up together.

i miss my kiddies. ~ and i'm absolutely horrible for yelling all morning. :( that is probably the part that is killing me the most. guilt. i hope they are having a good day. i hope they aren't upset and feeling crummy. i hope they have today. making scarecrows, and trunk-or-treating. ~ i'll be counting down the minutes till i can go get them later. :)

for now, i'm going to go wash my face, try to get myself pulled together and then head off to school... is this the right choice??????????????????????????????????????????????????

beach day yesterday. Sandy Hook, NJ. had a GREAT day.
went with the fam, of course, and also Jason, it was his 21st bday, Kristin, Sabryna, Alyssa & Richie. we had a lot fun, sun and SAND. lol the kids had a blast. Trevor was using Bryan's boogie board and did AWESOME. Swim lessons have paid off... not that he knows how to swim... but bc he is really a lot more comfortable in the water. He kept falling off and going under, or getting knocked around by waves and going under or getting splashed right in his face and he handled it like a true champ!! :) Thank you YMCA for that. ;) & Speaking of that... Today is Trevor's last day of swimming lessons... he missed yesterday, unfortunately, but going to the beach more than made up for swimming lessons!!

I also had some good progress at the beach yesterday... I wore a bathing suit for the first time in NINE years. not just in public, but for the first time EVER in nine years. and you know what... it wasn't so bad. lol i didn't feel like a runway model in it... and i sure as hell didn't feel sexy or like a hot momma... but I also didn't feel like a HUGE fat cow or a beached whale... so it was a good day. :)

the girls warmed up to the water and ended up having a blast running in and out of the waves all day... which was nice. :) we also played in the sand some... which they LOVED... as a matter of fact Brooke brought more than half the beach home with her in her hair and on her body... even after rinsing off! lol

We had a great time! :) the only thing that sort of sucks... is bc of having so much fun and just really enjoying the day... I only took about 4 or 5 pictures. :( Which sucks. BUT is okay bc, that means that i really enjoyed the day and didn't spend it behind the camera... i experienced it all first hand in real life. :)

well the kids are just hanging out and that is kind of what i'm planning for today also, but i do have to empty the truck out from yesterday and while it's nice and sunny out, i think i'll hang out some laundry too! which means I have to wash some first. :)

peace love and sunshine!!

Prayers Please...

I'm only here for a minute to post that Crystal, a dear bloggy friend needs prayers for her BF's leg and ankle... I got some details from Jenn that he was in a motocross accident and has some healing to do... things aren't great but they are better after surgery... so please pray for him to recover and be okay... he still isn't out of the woods just yet...
thank you!
xo

$elling Photos

I was interetested to know if anyone has ever sold their photos online? I heard about an offer to sell photos online... random things... I wouldn't ever sell photos of my children... but of sunsets, plyagrounds, senery, lakes, camping, pets.... things like that I would definitely be interested! If anyone has done this before and has any suggestions and/or advice I'd love to hear from you... and if you haven't done it before and have suggestions and/or advice I'd love to hear your thoughts as well! :)

buzz buzz...

we are busy little bees over here at our house. we are all doing stuff to enjoy the Summer, as it flies by, and getting ready for our first camping trip of the 2009 season. It sucks that it's the first one and we are already in the middle of July, but can't change that ~ so we are just going to enjoy it!! I'm not sure how much more camping we will get in this year... we have a lot to do around the house and Bryan is forever getting side work that keeps him busy not to mention his job too! Also there is our cruise in Sept. I cannot wait... but at the same time, I don't want to rush the Summer... it goes by way to fast as it is. :(

yesterday we hung out all day. i was exhausted. probably from not sleeping well two night before, it finally caught up with me... but we did accomplish a few things... we got Trevor transferred, officially, to his new school and we also checked out the YMCA gym & might get Trev some swimming lessons!! woo hoo!! He loves being in the pool and at 5 1/2 should really be swimming on his own... so we'll see how that goes. Next year we'll get the girls some, I'm sure they could learn but I'm not sure how willing they are to do so. Brooke is very nervous in the pool, and Lauren is very shy... so I think it will be better to wait till next year.

last night we went out on the boat for a little bit... we docked and the kids went "swimming" for a little bit by this sandy beach area, really we all just splashed each other and had a good time... Trevor swam around the boat by himself (with a life jacket on) and we sailed off... we went up and down the entire lake to both ends... each kid had a chance to drive the boat by themselves, which they all LOVED!! we got to see some dogs on jet skis... which was really cute... they even had on their life jackets! :)

we came home, ate some dinner, and then the kids were hanging out watching TV... Bryan was doing the same and I went to bed. I was totally wiped out. I was in bed by 8:34 PM and probably sound asleep by 9:00 PM... it was great!! I feel pretty good today. I think I may need to do that more often.

Since I'm well rested today and we leave tomorrow, I am going to bust my butt around here and CLEAN clean CLEAN till the cows come home... or I drop dead of exhaustion... but I have to pack some stuff for our trip, and I LOVE coming home to a sparkling clean house so that is what I'm going to strive for today!! :)

It started off raining today... but has stopped... which is very nice... hopefully it will stay nice & the kids can be outside and playing!! I get a lot more done when there aren't little people under my feet! lol Plus they are most happy when they can be outside. :)

I might be back with an update on how all is going. I also want to get some pics up of Trevor's first MX race last Saturday. It was totally awesome! I know I haven't written about it... yet, but I hope to get to it. :)

xox