Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Is It Ever Okay To Cheat?

Is there ever a time that it's sort of, a little tiny bit, make an exception, turn a blind eye and cheat?? I have been struggling with this question myself. Last weekend, I worked on my homework on Saturday and Sunday being careful to do a really good job, striving for that 100. I felt good. I had read and re-read the chapter, I had studied and knew my stuff. I got to class on Monday morning (different class than I usually am in because of the kids being sick with the flu and my gracious parents being able to miss work to watch them for me) :) and everyone is talking about HW chapter 38. Well hell, I had done chapter 35! shit! What to do now. UGH!! My face got flushed. I was feeling so hot, and for some reason tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't believe that I had worked so hard on the WRONG homework! I was upset and disappointed and so frustrated with myself, and to top it all off, I was going to get a ZERO! Great. That will average in so nicely to my GPA. I just felt like giving up and going home. The girl next to me Erika, so sweet as she was, said, "do it now. you have a few minutes. try, it wasn't that hard" but I hadn't read the chapter at all, I had no idea what any of it was, and at that time, I couldn't think. My head hurt, my throat was burning my eyes were holding back tears, and I just was so upset. She slid her book closer to mine and said "here... "
I looked around the room. I looked at her. I wasn't sure what to do. I felt this horrible tug-of-war in my head, should I? shouldn't I? What was the right thing to do? It wasn't like I had just not done the homework, it wasn't like I hadn't worked my butt off, but it was my responsibility to make sure I did the RIGHT homework, and I hadn't... what to do, what to do??
I said "thank you so much. I owe you!!" and I copied. I got a 90 and not a zero.
I'm still so unsure how I feel about this. Cheating is cheating. Cheating is wrong. way wrong. BUT, for some reason I can totally justify it in my head. I have three sick children at home. I did do my own work, just the wrong work. I hadn't been slacking, I just made a simple mistake, I wouldn't cheat just because I was being lazy or on a test or quiz or anything like that. It was a homework, it was semi-wrong to do, but I haven't done it before and hopefully will NOT do it again.
So then the battle that begins inside me now is why don't I feel so horribly wrong for cheating on my homework?? Why can I sort of justify it to myself? & How do I ever really thank Erika for saving me all that self-anger and frustration??
I did come home and read chapter 38 ~ did the questions myself and studied it all... I Aced the test on it too. I did put in my time, I just didn't do it at the right time. ~ I did learn a lesson, that I have to double check my calendar to make sure I'm doing the right homework. And, honestly I really triple check it and sometimes more, and made a list in order of the homework chapters I have to do and triple checked that too!
So do you think there is ever a time when cheating is okay?


jenn said...

When I read you title I thought you meant CHEATING, like on your spouse. Big sigh of relief here.

And to answer your, I can't, because i have no idea what I would have done in that situation. Like you said, it was ONLY homework, but when does that become the only? IF you justify that, next time will you be able to justify doing the same thing, but on a test? We all fuck up. maybe you could have explained to the teacher what happened...

Okay, not that I got that out of the way, I totally would have copied the homework too. And maybe someday you can offer the same thing back to her when she finds herself in a tight spot. You are giving so much of yourself to school...don't beat yourself up over one decision.

You rock, sunshine! Don't ever forget it! Love and miss you!!!!

jenn said...

Ha...I just read over my comment and it sounds like I have multiple personalities! lol!

Jennifer said...

hi multiple mama!! lol :)

i am still wondering if i did the "right" thing... although cheating is wrong! make sense? no. of course not. lol
the teacher would have HAD to give me a zero, even if she understood or felt bad... it's POLICY... and they are very STRICT with policies! ugh. but it's good, it gets me ready for the nursing world and all the POLICIES i'll encounter then. :)

i did it. it's over. i won't do it again. i will just have to know, i got a freebe, and now next time it's on me. a little lesson i learned to be more careful that i'm doing the right work. duh. lol

thanks for the comment love!! xo

LceeL said...

Don't feel guilty - you did do the work, and that's all that counts. Of course, you also learned a valuable lesson - that in itself should help you get over your feelings of guilt.

The Pauline Goat Ranchers said...

Girl there are going to be sometimes that you are running into a class and someone has their notebook to "share" and sometimes you will "share" yours. I can't...won't say its right but you won't be the only one. Find a study buddy and half the homework and meet up before class if you are still studying all the material anyways-just cut the work in half and save yourself the stress. Am I the devil for encouraging this behavior...I don't know but I don't think theres anything wrong with it, unless it was on a test- to me thats seriously different- homework-pssshh, screw that, its just homework or even classwork.

YOU NEED SOME SERIOUS CHOCOLATE and a day free of school work- I am praying that the holidays get here soon so you can mentally rest.

I know what you are going through and I think you are stressed and just don't bother yourself more with over thinking it.

Thinking of ya,

The Pauline Goat Ranchers said...
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