Monday, April 14, 2008
As I laid in bed last night, trying deparelty to fall asleep so my mind would just stop running through all these thoughts and questions, worrying and stressing, an amazing thought came to my mind...
This is my moment! This. is. IT! This is my time to shine.
I was laying there in my room, in my bed, eyes closed. I was feeling angry, annoyed, useless, STRESSED, upset, depressed, burnt out, alone, DISAPPOINTED, left-out, mad, lazy, used, LIED TO, the need for a CHANGE in my life, FAKE, anxious, on edge. I was just rushing with emotions and so full of anxiety! I could barely lay still it was totally consuming me. I felt a lump in my throat and some stinging in my eyes.... if I had swallowed or blinked, even once, I would have lost it.
I laid there, still. I wanted to just be able to fall asleep. I thought of a million different things, my kids, my life, my famiy, my friends, myself, my house. I found myself playing back parts of conversations I had with everyone lately. I kept hearing myself over and over in my head. Things that I had said, and even louder than that I heard all the things I should have said.
Posted by Jennifer at 8:22 AM