Sadness...

~What makes you reflect on your life? What makes you really sit back and examine all that you have and all that is of significant value to you. Not monetary value, but true life value. To me, the most valuable things in my life, aren't things at all. They are people. Those people are my children, my husband, my parents, my brothers, my in-laws (you all know the ones I mean) my nieces and nephews and my friends.

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~I always am wrapped up in every day life, and living it just to get by. Sure I love my life, my family and friends, but I don't always sit back and really take it all in.

I am wealthy because I have it all, I have a wonderful family. One that supports me and loves me for who I am. The take the good with the bad, the bitch with the mood swings. I'm blessed. I am in WONDERFUL health. I have no major illness and haven't ever had any either. I have never been hospitalized except when I had my children. I have my vision, my hearing and most of all my sense of humor. I am blessed.

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~I have three beautiful children, and I do mean beautiful. They are gorgeous inside and out. They are loving, affectionate, passionate, smart, caring, funny, sharing, giving, generous and just all around amazing and wonderful. None of them have ever been ill. Sure we have had some common things, like colds and stomach bugs, but that is pretty much it. Both girls have NEVER had ear infections... knock on wood, and Trevor only had the beginning stages of one when he was under one year old. They have never had one single problem in life. They are 100% perfect, in every sense of the word. They are energetic and they play and run and do everything together. They love one another. They are healthy and growing like flowers. I'm truly blessed.

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~I have a wonderful husband, whose head would swell at reading that, but I have to admit it is true. He is pretty darn wonderful. He puts up with me and my bitchiness and my truck driver mouth... and my mood swings and my nagging. He is good to me and our children. He works every day, very hard, to be able to support our family so I can stay home and raise our children. He helps me cook and clean... he even does dishes, laundry and vacuums. He is a great daddy to our children and just an all around good guy. I'm really lucky to have him in my life. I am blessed.

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~I have wonderful parents who, still, love and support me in everything I do in life. They love my family and do whatever they can to help us out in any way. They are the most caring, loving and generous people I have ever known in my life. They are that way to anyone they know, not just us. :) I am blessed.

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~I also happen to have the worlds greatest friends. You know the kind, the ones that are ALWAYS there for you, no matter what. The kind that offer a shoulder and an ear. That are always there to support you even if it is one of the stupidest things you have every in your entire life thought of doing... they tell ya that, but then are right there beside you helping you every step of the way. They want your dreams for you as much as you want them yourself and they try everything in their power to make that happen... as I'm typing this I realize this isn't just my friends that are this way... this is how my husband and my parents are too... I have this enormous, wonderful support team with me all the time, every second of every day... always there. Breathing the same air I breath and walking this same journey through life. Some of them are only 20 minutes away and some are an hour and 20 minutes away, but I still feel them right beside me all the time. Every. Single. Step. I'm never alone and I'm always loved. I AM truly blessed.

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~The things that always make me take a look at life like this... for what I really have and what my true treasures are... are when people pass away. It always brings me right back to reality and quickly too. It always gives me focus to see what I really have and that I need and want for nothing. Of course there are the monetary things... the house, the car, the dreams, but those things I can live without... those things haven't made me who I am, and they won't change who I'll be. They are simply that... things.

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~In the last few days, my camera took a crap, my fridge quit, my sugar glider died, my nephew's cat died, my friend, Jenn's cat died... and those are all set backs. The animals are truly sad and are going to be missed. But there is worse news. Much worse.

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~My landlord's, who aren't just ever day run of the mill kind of land lords, they are family friends, they are loving, caring, giving, generous people, they have been so good to Bryan and I and my family I can't even begin to tell you. They are good people. Very good people. Well on Sunday they found out that their 38 year old son died. He left behind his parents, his wife and two young daughters, his brother and sister and other nieces and nephews. This is horrible. I am just so upset about this. I'm so sad for the family and those two little girls.

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~Then today I talked to Alyssa, and I found out that her uncle, only 49 years old, died unexpectedly yesterday. I am so sad for her and her family. I can't imagine what they are all going through. I offer her any support and help she can use. I offer her my shoulder any time she needs to cry or vent or for anything. I send my condolences to her family. I'm in shock that this happened to her family.

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~Tonight I talked to my mom, and she said that my aunt had called to tell her that a man that has lived in our neighborhood, well longer than we have, passed away. An acquaintance/friend of my parents. I'm very upset.

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~This is a lot to deal with. To try to understand. Three people in three days. I'm afraid for tomorrow to come. I'm afraid to hear what it will bring. This is a horrible streak of bad luck, if you can even call it bad luck. I feel it way more than that. Worse than bad luck.

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~There are other things going on as well in our personal lives, Bryan's job is taking away a major perk of them having work vehicles to drive to and from work. Something that we really were grateful for and relied in immensely. We will now have to buy a car for him to drive to and from work and also figure out insurance money and gas money and all that, while we are hoping to be moving and fixing up an entire house, which we haven't heard any new news on. Still waiting on contracts! We live in NY and the owner lives in CO... he was supposed to email them to our realtor Monday, but she hasn't heard from them.

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~Anyway... this is all nothing. Thank goodness we have our health and one another. I just pray that tomorrow is a new fresh day!

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~I do have some good news, the lady that does my nails, her assistant, another Jennifer, had her baby girl on Monday... on Trevor's birthday. See God does delivery great miracles too!

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~Here is to tomorrow being a lot better!!

CHEERS!

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~PS please say a prayer for all the families that have experienced a loss this week, please keep them in your thoughts. thank you.

Bad Luck

I guess you can call what is going on around here bad luck. :(

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Well first you all know that a few weeks ago my camera died. I've tried everything to revive it, but alas the overworked and underpaid little thing is being laid to rest. It is a shame that only three years old it had to pass... but it death was at the hands of toddlers... so you know it was probably unintentional and I hope quick and painless.

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Then Friday morning Bryan found that our only female sugar glider had passed on. She wasn't acting that great and actually was out during the day on Thursday, I called him to come home and check her out... I didn't want her to be suffering. But she seemed okay. She would eat and move around some, but she had lost the use of her back legs. :( I really and truly hope that her passing was quick and very painless. Poor little girl. She was so sweet. I have been sad about this a lot more than I ever thought that I would be. (not that I'm a cruel uncaring bitch... but just that they aren't a pet like our dog or something to us. We do care for them and like them... anyway... )

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Then this morning my mom and I spoke on the phone and as soon as she started talking I knew something was wrong.... my mom found my nephew's cat dead this morning. :( She was upset of course, b/c they all live together so it was the family cat... but she was really upset for Matthew. Poor kid. :( He took it okay... you know like any kid would when their pet passes away.

Then this afternoon Bryan called me to say that our refrigerator died. UGH!! AND we just went shopping the night before. What the heck?? SO... we had to start up the MONEY eating freezer down stairs to fill up with our stuff from upstairs and then also start our camper fridge so we could use that. There were still a few things that wouldn't fit... so Bryan had egg salad sandwiches for lunch, and we are eating hamburgers and chicken for dinner. ;) I can't believe it. I just called the landlord on Friday to tell them that we are moving and all, and now I have to call tomorrow to say that the fridge took a shit. We don't want them to buy one just for us to finish living here... but we have to let them know. I'm not sure what we are going to do. I guess I'll just have to see what they say when I call them.

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Dammit.

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And really I'm not even trying to compare the death of the two pets to the death of the camera and the fridge... so no one get all mad at me... I'm just trying to make light of a streak of bad luck we have been having around here. But I guess with all good things come some bad. As far as the house and all that... things are going good. We are still waiting for contracts to come... but all is good. :)

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I'll be here with an update as soon as there is new news.