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i'm out of clever titles these days. just in case you didn't notice. lol

well, good news. Trevor seems to be feeling better. he hasn't thrown up again... thankfully and he even managed to eat some breakfast... which he has kept down for about 30 minutes. AND he wanted to eat... i didn't force him or even suggest it really. so those are all good things. i really hope he keeps it down and continues to feel better all day. :)

it is flurrying here. yuck. although i'm not too happy about it... it is quite pretty out. the kids and i are going to get ready and leave in a little bit to get some groceries. i hope it doesn't decide to snow more and make the roads a mess while we are out. i don't mind driving in snow at all, but now that i have three kids with me it is a little bit different and with moving to the new house... the roads are curvy and woodsie, no lines on them, and they get plowed absolute last. so i worry some.

we'll just take it easy and take our time driving and it should be fine.

Ramblings

good morning.

Thank you all for the wonderful wishes for the house. We talked to our realtor yesterday and she has only been able to get in contact with the wife and proposed the deal to her, renting with option to buy, then two years buying it for the full asking price... which no one ever really offers full asking price for the first offer. But she hasn't been able to get in contact with the husband. She said they travel in separate circuits, not sure exactly how this work but we are just hoping she will be able to get in touch with him soon. We are on pins & needles and not sleeping well trying to wait this out. Not to mention all the plans and ideas that are circulating in our thoughts, although we are trying to not get too far ahead of ourselves.

they say all good things come to those that wait. right? that is how i'm trying to see this situation we talked to Sig about the house then had to wait about a week to see it... we liked it. then we made the offer and are waiting for her to propose it to the owners and i'm hoping since we have waited 3 days so far, with out knowing when we will hear from any of them, that this will have a good outcome.

for some reason i have really wonderful luck with things that i want working out in my favor. it is unreal. something always changes or bends or just goes exactly right in the universe so that things work out for me. i'm really thankful for this and hope that it will be the same way with this house. BUT at the same time things don't always go the way i want or plan or even calculate... and although it is sometimes set back and disappointing, to say the least, it is always for a reason. Some of the most major things in my life that have failed seem to have been for the BEST reasoning and made up more significant parts of my life. things and people that i couldn't imagine being absent in my life.

so although i'm trying to play it cool and think positively... i'm still dying to hear from Sig and see what the owners think of our proposal. as soon as i'm done either celebrating or being disappointed and trying to come up with another proposal for them, since we were approved for the mortgage and could still go that route, i will come post about it so you all can know what is going on.


ALSO!! Thank you all for the camera info. It seems as though my camera is really truly passed on. :( sad i know. i'm trying not to fret about it... and i'm also trying not to think of all the pictures i'm missing every. single. day.

ugh!!

i'm not sure what to do yet. i'm not sure where to shop first. i did some research with lead me to the Canon Rebel XSi... but wow!! that is pretty pricey and right now my finances need to be focused in other directions... a LOT of other directions. so i con't to search and see what you are all using. :) thanks for all the advice.

Dermatologist visit...

I'm cold and tired and have a rough day. :(
I really want to go sit in front of the t.v. with a big cup of french vanilla coffee and a warm blanket and watch a GREAT movie. BUT... Trevor is watching some cartoons before his nap time, which is actually now... and I don't have any coffee to make let alone french vanilla coffee... and I know I should be doing a million other things than sitting in front of the t.v. I also shouldn't be sitting here in front of the computer, but I wanted to post about what happened with Lauren today while we were at the dermatologist.

We had to be there at 11:00AM and we made it on time. I got everyone feed, and Trevor dressed, the girls had a bath then got them dressed then I got myself dressed and took the kids one by one to the truck because it was raining. It still is raining... kind of suits my mood. : ( We loaded up and were off to get my dad to go to the doctors appointment with us. Bryan was stuck working, I'm sure he was interested in going to see what this doctor had to say. Plus, we both feel bad that my dad had to leave work again today, because he left work yesterday to go with me to take Trevor to the doctors. Whatta GREAT dad/grandpa we have!! Also, we are lucky that he has the kind of job were he can leave like that to help up out. (last year when Trevor was in 1/2 days of pre-school in town, my dad would take him every morning for me, and then he would ride with me to pick him up b/c I would have the girls.... he also went to graduation with me and some other school functions. (o: )

So, we were there a few minutes then they brought us in the room. Lauren was nervous as soon as we got there, she remembers the last time she was there they did a biopsy. NOT fun! :( I felt bad that she was upset and nervous before even seeing the doctor. We tried to comfort her and change the subject to distract her. The nurse, Debbie, was awesome, she brought in some stickers and some magazines for them to look at while we waited a little bit for the doctor. It didn't take long and he came in the room though. He was friendly and chatty. He looked Lauren over and asked us some questions. He talked to her and held her on his lap... he was nice but she was still really upset and crying. I showed him her pinkie ~ on the bottom of it she has something that looks like a blister. He put some liquid nitrogen on it... she fussed, but I think only because she thought it would hurt and also because she didn't know what he was doing. I was upset too, maybe she was also feeding off of me. They said it was only cold that it wouldn't hurt her. She seemed to get over it fast once they were done and they went out to talk.
I was upset still thinking that maybe it did hurt her. I hate to see any of my children in pain, and really she has been going through a lot lately she doesn't need anything more going on with her. :(
The doctor and the nurse came back in and he was looking her over again and he asked me what kind of biopsy did Dr. F do on her? Did he do a cookie cutter or just use a scalpel? I said I was pretty sure he just used a scalpel. He said okay then, he was going to do a cookie cutter/punch biopsy this time, to get better results on the biopsy results. He said the other report didn't show anything... and that it was "shitty". (his exact words) He also said that he didn't think it could be scabies... but he also said he wasn't sure what it was... but he was going to send this out to the BEST lab. I had to leave the room. As soon as he said the word biopsy, I was hot and crying and had an instant headache. The nurse looked at me with sympathetic eyes and told me that she would be okay. They explained to me that a cookie cutter biopsy is like a punch of skin that it takes more than just the top layer of skin, it gets more cells and what not... and that she would maybe need a stitch or two afterwards to close it up... I told them it was okay to do but I had to leave the room and also take Trevor and Brooke out too. I asked my dad to hold he and he, of course, said he would. We were just outside the door when they gave her the needle to numb her up... she was SCREAMING!! I was crying. We walked all the way to the other end of the hall, I was barely holding myself together. I hate that she has to go through all this. I really feel horrible. I wish it were me... not her. I wish we had an answer already. Enough is enough. At the end of the hall I could still hear her a little bit. Everyone was so friendly and caring. One of the girls brought me some tissues, and the other nurse, Debbie, was hugging me telling me that she was okay. Finally they were done. She survived. My dad said it wasn't so bad, but she didn't like the needles or being held down/still. They did two. UH!! :( 2! One on her wrist and one on her leg. The Dr. wanted to make sure he got something that they could really study and look at and he felt might as well do two now and send them both out then possibly needing to do another one later and waiting longer. I guess better to get it over and done with. I just really hope and pray that we get an actual result or answer from this. I don't know how much more Lauren can take, or me for that matter.
We have to wait about two weeks for the results of this/these biopsy/ies too. They made me another appointment for the Friday after Thanksgiving. I'm anxious and nervous to see what they will tell us.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are thankful all year long for our health and our family & friends... this year we are thankful for all the same things and thankful that all of you care so much for us and Lauren too, and pray and think of us during this stressful time. Thank you.
There is some more that I want to type about, but I have to get Trevor for his nap otherwise grocery shopping will be more painful than it normally is.

Updates all around.

So, we are home from the doctors. Trevor just has a common cold. His lungs sound clear, which is GREAT for all the horrible coughing he has been doing, and his ears look GREAT. I'm glad ear infections suck. He has only every had one mild ear infection, not even a full blown ear infection, red on one ear and fluid on the other, but we caught it in time. : ) And, he was under a year old. I'm glad it all checked out okay. Dr. G said if he continues into next week with temps, to bring him back just to see what it is, but he should be fine by then. ;o)

While we were there I mentioned Lauren, who was there with me too, and all that is going on with her and what the dermatologist said/thought and the biopsy report and all and Dr. G feels like the report can't just say "bug bites" it wouldn't be so random, it would be more specific and list some things to try or to look for. So she suggested getting a copy of the report, just for us to read and also to take with us to the doctor in Middletown. We are going on Monday to see Dr. Woolf. Not sure what we will think or what he will say, but it is another opinion and it can't hurt. My brother took my nephew there and didn't have anything bad to say about him. I guess he is old though and not a great bed/chair side manor, but I have dealt with that before, and will make the best of it. So anyway. I called the original dermatologist office to get a copy of the report. I spoke to the nurse there and she was very nice. She was going to have it ready for us to pick up this afternoon or tomorrow. I also mentioned to her about the Molluscum. She said that is something definite and would show up separate in the biopsy report but would I like to come in and see Dr. S. He is a dermatologist that comes up from the city and works in their office. It would be another pair of eyes and someone elses opinion on what is or could be going on with Lauren. At first I declined the offer only because I was thinking that I did the scabies treatment on Sunday night into Monday and it says to wait a week to see results and then I have the appointment on Monday in Middletown with the other doctor. So I told her that I would call back next week to set up an appointment with him if things weren't looking better. She told me that the doctor is only in once a month, if I didn't see him tomorrow I would have to wait a month to see him... so needless to say we are going to the dermatologist tomorrow. I hope we get some different answers from this guy.

Also... there is some light and hope at the end of this horrible tunnel... this very dear and generous friend of mine from the twinslist, Martha, wanted to send Lauren some Melaleuca products as a gift from her to see if they would help her out with itching and healing and getting rid of the scabies if that is what it is that is bothering her. I was so touched by her outreach and generosity. She is an amazing person and I hope that one day I can do a favor like this for her family or another family in need. Thank you Martha & family if you are reading this. You are in our hearts forever and we are extremely grateful for your wonderful spirit, generosity and thoughtfulness.

Well I'm going to make some grilled cheese sandwiches and some popcorn for lunch... I'll be back later... maybe.

And, The Results Are....

And, the results are for Lauren's biopsy, that they are "bug bites of some sort". I don't even know what to do with this information.
I can't believe that they are bug bites for a lot of reasons.... but I also can't believe they are bug bites and we have put her through all this crap. A biopsy and steroids and antibiotics and all this.
I think that everyone around us is in the same shock/disbelieve/awe of the results. Not that any one of us wanted something to be wrong with her... we didn't at all. Nothing. Not even something not serious, and definitely not something serious. BUT, at the same time, we were hoping for some sort of an answer, something that we could treat. I guess bug bites are treatable. But, what kind of bug bites are they?
We have an appointment today, now, with the dermatologist at 2:45PM and then another appointment after that with the allergist at 3:45PM so I guess some where along the line we may get some answer for what to do about this and what they actually think it is. I know that the dermatologist office mentioned scabies... again. We have already done the treatment for that... even when we knew/thought that there was no way in hell it was scabies. We did it just to prove to them that we tried it and it didn't work we need to go in a different direction. Well it seems like out different direction has lead us back to the same crap.
I know some of you reading this are saying... well if they said scabies and then you treated it and had a biopsy and they are saying scabies again, then maybe it is... maybe you didn't treat it right the first time. BUT, no one else in the entire family has anything on them... not even ONE mark... and scabies is highly contagious.
I just want to make her better. That is all. Bottom line... no matter what it is.

Quick update....

So yeah. I re-read the post that I did the other day about my dream... and realized I should have proof read it before posting it... but oh well it is out there now, I'm not too worried. I will get to editing it sooner or later... I was typing it while doing a million and one other things, that is why it is totally unorganized and poorly written, not that everything on here is perfectly written or well thought out... kinda like this post. But anyway... I will get to fix that some time.
As for now, I just wanted to post a quick update about things going on here, and about Lauren.
Last Thursday we went to Dr. Fishman, who I have now come to find out is a complete ass aka not a good doctor. But, I found this out after I took her. He was okay to us there. Not overly friendly but he isn't there to be our friend, he is there to doctor Lauren. So anyway, he did a biopsy, I will leave the details of it for another time. We will get the results in two weeks, seems kind of long for me, but I guess there isn't anything we can do but wait. So we should be hearing something back from them on or around November 8th.
Today, Tuesday, Lauren has an appointment with Dr. Du, the allergist that recommended seeing a dermatologist. It has been two weeks since he saw Lauren last and just wanted to do a follow up/check up to see how things are going with her and the appointment to the dermatologist. ** Side note, he did NOT recommend Dr. Fishman ** We had to find some one that took our insurance. UHHHHHH... let's not talk about it. Anyway, we are headed there in a little bit, and see what he has to say and what he thinks of all that has been going on with her.
So we are at a little bit of a stand still with her for now, but at least we are in constant communication with the allergist, Dr. Du (whom we absolutely adore) and her pediatrician, Dr. Gapud, (whom we are fond of and no longer think is a bloody idiot). : )
I'm sure there will be some more updates on Lauren to come.
As for the rest of our lives, we are busy, but maybe finally calming down some. We went to Heather's bday party on Saturday night, it was really fun, they had it decorated so AWESOME!!! The costumes that everyone did were freakin' great!! : ) Loved it!! Then everyone went to Dutches' afterwards while we came home with our three children... can you tell we were feeling sorry for ourselves, or at least I was. It wasn't so bad, to come home I mean. I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for the world, but to be care free once in a while again would be nice too. But that is another topic for another time. : ) And, really I do get to be carefree once in a while thanks to my wonderful parents who baby-sit for us all the times we ask them to, and some times for days a clip. : ) (thanks, mom and dad)
This week Trevor is having a Halloween parade at school and a party on Wednesday, which is Halloween day... then of course we are going trick-or-treating. Which we have to work out the details of that. : )
So that is all for now, I have to get us ready to go the doctors. I'll be back.

Updating & Working on Blog...

Hello everyone. I'm back, briefly. I have a lot of information, news, stories, and of course pictures to share with all of you. But, with having three children, what I don't have is a lot of time to be typing on here. I used to type during nap time, but I have been staggering the kids naps, so that Trevor and I get some time together when the girls first go down, and then they get some time with me before he wakes up. It works out well, except that there is no time now for me to do things by myself while they nap. This is a temporary thing, because soon Mr. Trevor will be starting Pre-School, one of my many things to post on here... and he will be gone from home, so I want to get in as much time with him as I can before he goes to pre-school. Our days of just hanging out bumming around the house are numbered. : (
Anyway. I am going to download some pictures from the camera to the computer and post some of them.
Then I will be back, after I start some laundry and put some water on to cook ziti for dinner.

1. Our trip to Connecticut
2. Trevor's new scooter
3. Brooke & Lauren with Trevor's old scooter
4. The kids swimming in the ocean (sound)
5. Trevor's BIG new accomplishment
6. Trevor starting pre-school
7. Update on BIG girl beds
8. New Niece ~ Sabryna
9. Bryan's BIG "3-0H" birthday coming up
10. Trevor's BIG "4th" birthday coming up
11. Lauren's BIG "2nd" birthday coming up
12. Brooke's BIG "2nd" birthday coming up
13. Our next camping adventure, Mexico, NY

So that is that for now... I'll be back, after these messages. : )

Update... again!

Hi everyone... I know it has been FOREVER since I have posted anything here... I'm not even sure if anyone reads this or I should say checks this any more, but here is a post for you all.
I just thought I would give a little family update and write about where everyone seems to be...
Bryan and I officially tied the knot and now are married... we did this on 5/19/07... it was great, everything went perfect and the kids had a blast!!! We couldn't have asked for a more perfect wedding! ; )
Trevor is almost done with pre-school for the year. He's last day is 6/20... I'm looking forward to having him home all day long and not just in the afternoons... but I'm also kind of concerned about how to con't to teach him letters, numbers, and all the other things they have been working on all year long with him... not that he will necessarily forget it by next Fall, but just that I want to keep him mind stimulated and keep him on the learning path and maybe get him better at writing and some other things he'll need for kindergarten, although he still has one year of pre-school before that. Speaking of one more year of pre-school... he is possibly going to be going a full day next year.. and at Duggan school where he will be in kindergarden... so that is good news... although I'm still trying to adjust to the idea of him being gone from home a full day already. He seems kind of young to have to be at school a full day... I mean he will have the rest of his life to deal with full days of school and work and all that... I think I might only send him half a day every other day or something... I'm still trying to figure it all out in my head... but it isn't even a definite plan with the pre-school they are still trying to get some grants aproved to fund it. Back to summer... I think that since he is showing a lot better behavioral skills with other children and with listening and just in general I think we need some sort of structure and some routine even when he is not in school this summer. I have looked into summer programs for him, but he isn't old enough just yet for ones that I was interested... and they are really quite pricey around here. So I'm trying to plan some things now... if anyone has some websites I could get some ideas from or some print out to work on letters and all that... I would really appreciate it.
Lauren is doing good, she is talking a lot now... real words and rambling on things that maybe make sense to her, but don't make any sense to the rest of us... but it is pretty entertaining and funny. ; ) She is really into hugging everyone too, well, not everyone... but family members... especially Brooke and Trevor. She is painfully shy with strangers... she really seems scared of them... like she is going to have a nervous break down if they come any closer or don't stop talking to her and go away as soon as possible. She will dig her little fingers into me or Bryan as hard as she can, and burry her little face and body into us as far as she can... hoping that they will just go away from her. I feel really bad that she is this upset... but I was also not fond of strangers when I was little so I'm hoping she will outgrow that soon... although some fear is a good thing... I think sometimes that Brooke would be willing to go with almost anyone in the store, if they let her WALK... another big issue we are having... all they want to do it walk... every where we go, they beg to walk and try so hard to get out of the stroller... it just is NOT a feasible plan to let them walk... we have our hands full enough with them in the stroller and Trevor walking... who does NOT stay with us at all and has NO fear of being all the way across an entire store by himself or even across the entire mall by himself. I don't think he would actually go with someone... but they could take him very easily when he is so far from us. We, of course, try to keep a tight rein on him... but he is fast! I worry every time we are in the stores with him that I will loose him. It is horrible. :(
Brooke is doing good too... she is talking up a storm as well, not so much rambling... but just like Lauren she tries to copy anything you say to her or she hears. ; ) They both love to talk on the phone... they will talk to anyone... and they do pretty good with paying attention and answering questions... of course Brooke will say NO to everything anyone asks her... it is her standard answer. Lauren loves to say yes... she even enunciates it so perfect and clear. They are getting funnier and funnier every day. We love to see them each grow as individuals, but it is also fun to watch them all together too! ;) Trevor takes the roll of big brother very seriously and has been trying to help out with taking care of the girls and also teaching them things.. he is doing a great job. : )
We are going to be doing our first family vacation for this summer... this weekend we are going to Six Flags in NJ... we aren't going for very long ... but it will be a good way to break us all in and see how we do. It will be Lauren and Brooke first time in a hotel, but they have been on vacation before. Bryan and I are really looking forward to it and hoping for great weather and also good behavior and a GREAT time had by all... our very close friends, that don't have children yet are going to go with us so they will be a wonderful help with the kids... and really you do need about 5 adults for three kids in an amusement park. LOL .... well not really I think we might still be out numbered. Trevor is really anxious.. he doesn't remember going to Myrtle beach the summer before the girls were born so he doesn't remember staying in a hotel ever... so this will be an adventure for him. ;)
Well I think I have rambled on enough for one post... hope all is well with all of you and that you are all ready for lots of summer fun.