I'm cold and tired and have a rough day. :(
I really want to go sit in front of the t.v. with a big cup of french vanilla coffee and a warm blanket and watch a GREAT movie. BUT... Trevor is watching some cartoons before his nap time, which is actually now... and I don't have any coffee to make let alone french vanilla coffee... and I know I should be doing a million other things than sitting in front of the t.v. I also shouldn't be sitting here in front of the computer, but I wanted to post about what happened with Lauren today while we were at the dermatologist.
We had to be there at 11:00AM and we made it on time. I got everyone feed, and Trevor dressed, the girls had a bath then got them dressed then I got myself dressed and took the kids one by one to the truck because it was raining. It still is raining... kind of suits my mood. : ( We loaded up and were off to get my dad to go to the doctors appointment with us. Bryan was stuck working, I'm sure he was interested in going to see what this doctor had to say. Plus, we both feel bad that my dad had to leave work again today, because he left work yesterday to go with me to take Trevor to the doctors. Whatta GREAT dad/grandpa we have!! Also, we are lucky that he has the kind of job were he can leave like that to help up out. (last year when Trevor was in 1/2 days of pre-school in town, my dad would take him every morning for me, and then he would ride with me to pick him up b/c I would have the girls.... he also went to graduation with me and some other school functions. (o: )
So, we were there a few minutes then they brought us in the room. Lauren was nervous as soon as we got there, she remembers the last time she was there they did a biopsy. NOT fun! :( I felt bad that she was upset and nervous before even seeing the doctor. We tried to comfort her and change the subject to distract her. The nurse, Debbie, was awesome, she brought in some stickers and some magazines for them to look at while we waited a little bit for the doctor. It didn't take long and he came in the room though. He was friendly and chatty. He looked Lauren over and asked us some questions. He talked to her and held her on his lap... he was nice but she was still really upset and crying. I showed him her pinkie ~ on the bottom of it she has something that looks like a blister. He put some liquid nitrogen on it... she fussed, but I think only because she thought it would hurt and also because she didn't know what he was doing. I was upset too, maybe she was also feeding off of me. They said it was only cold that it wouldn't hurt her. She seemed to get over it fast once they were done and they went out to talk.
I was upset still thinking that maybe it did hurt her. I hate to see any of my children in pain, and really she has been going through a lot lately she doesn't need anything more going on with her. :(
The doctor and the nurse came back in and he was looking her over again and he asked me what kind of biopsy did Dr. F do on her? Did he do a cookie cutter or just use a scalpel? I said I was pretty sure he just used a scalpel. He said okay then, he was going to do a cookie cutter/punch biopsy this time, to get better results on the biopsy results. He said the other report didn't show anything... and that it was "shitty". (his exact words) He also said that he didn't think it could be scabies... but he also said he wasn't sure what it was... but he was going to send this out to the BEST lab. I had to leave the room. As soon as he said the word biopsy, I was hot and crying and had an instant headache. The nurse looked at me with sympathetic eyes and told me that she would be okay. They explained to me that a cookie cutter biopsy is like a punch of skin that it takes more than just the top layer of skin, it gets more cells and what not... and that she would maybe need a stitch or two afterwards to close it up... I told them it was okay to do but I had to leave the room and also take Trevor and Brooke out too. I asked my dad to hold he and he, of course, said he would. We were just outside the door when they gave her the needle to numb her up... she was SCREAMING!! I was crying. We walked all the way to the other end of the hall, I was barely holding myself together. I hate that she has to go through all this. I really feel horrible. I wish it were me... not her. I wish we had an answer already. Enough is enough. At the end of the hall I could still hear her a little bit. Everyone was so friendly and caring. One of the girls brought me some tissues, and the other nurse, Debbie, was hugging me telling me that she was okay. Finally they were done. She survived. My dad said it wasn't so bad, but she didn't like the needles or being held down/still. They did two. UH!! :( 2! One on her wrist and one on her leg. The Dr. wanted to make sure he got something that they could really study and look at and he felt might as well do two now and send them both out then possibly needing to do another one later and waiting longer. I guess better to get it over and done with. I just really hope and pray that we get an actual result or answer from this. I don't know how much more Lauren can take, or me for that matter.
We have to wait about two weeks for the results of this/these biopsy/ies too. They made me another appointment for the Friday after Thanksgiving. I'm anxious and nervous to see what they will tell us.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are thankful all year long for our health and our family & friends... this year we are thankful for all the same things and thankful that all of you care so much for us and Lauren too, and pray and think of us during this stressful time. Thank you.
There is some more that I want to type about, but I have to get Trevor for his nap otherwise grocery shopping will be more painful than it normally is.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I'm cold and tired and have a rough day. :(