I remember

I remember how exactly how I felt while waiting in the HOT sun to go on Medusa... it was a long wait too, and to be honest with ya'll (and myself) I'm sooooooo, so, so, so very surprised that I didn't chicken out at the end... but for some reason the fact that Bryan said that he KNEW I wouldn't really do it, made me need to prove to him that I would. I wouldn't go with him though I needed to go with the girls!! You know... MY girls... the ones that stood there reassuring me that everything would be okay, and that I would NOT, in fact, die on the ride let alone hate it. They were the ones that were comforting and supportive but not at all pushy. They were also the ones that didn't mind, at all, as I teared up getting into the seat of my first coaster ride, and were the ones that let me hold their hands as tight as I needed to for the, um, entire ride. :) They were also the ones that got the first smile and big hug when we got off and I decided that I LOVED it. They were right. :) I was okay.

But, I remember how long that line felt, when we first got on it... then I remember how quick it seemed to go when it was our turn to step up the the gate and then get on the ride... ugh. I could have thrown up right then and there... I was so scared and nervous that my body was one big tight knot. I had a headache and some muscle soreness after the ride from being so tense. I just couldn't wait for it to all be over with.

Then the relief as it started, and I really was okay... but I was still anticipating something horrible to happen... some really bad feeling to come over me and make me hate this entire experience... make all my stress and worries come true.... then finally in less than 3 minutes I was put out of my misery... it was fun, a blast I would even say, I did great... I laughed and smiled and LOVED it all and would have done it again, except for that long ass line.

I'm sure this is the feelings, or similar to the ones that my mom is feeling.... she is scared. I can only imagine... I'm scared for her too. I just got home from her house a little while ago... I had her laughing some, so maybe she will think of some of the dumb/stupid/funny and ridiculous things I said while there, tonight when she can't sleep... and keep her mind slightly off of her surgery tomorrow, which they moved up to her being there at 7am... which is better. I highly doubt she will sleep tonight anyway... she doesn't sleep on a good night, let alone the night before her surgery.

My stomach isn't very happy today either... I guess I am more stressed then I was letting myself believe I was. I know in my heart that things will go just fine... my mom is a healthy person, she isn't on any medications at all. Her BP is good, her cholesterol is good, everything is fine with her... except this... and this will be fine after tomorrows surgery too. It is just getting from tonight till tomorrow in the recovery room.

I'm not sure how much I will sleep tonight and how I will be able to just sit around tomorrow waiting for a phone call to say that she is out of surgery and doing great. I'm going to be one big raw nerve... worse than waiting online for that damn roller coaster.

I'm off to fold some laundry and worry some more.