Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I remember

I remember how exactly how I felt while waiting in the HOT sun to go on Medusa... it was a long wait too, and to be honest with ya'll (and myself) I'm sooooooo, so, so, so very surprised that I didn't chicken out at the end... but for some reason the fact that Bryan said that he KNEW I wouldn't really do it, made me need to prove to him that I would. I wouldn't go with him though I needed to go with the girls!! You know... MY girls... the ones that stood there reassuring me that everything would be okay, and that I would NOT, in fact, die on the ride let alone hate it. They were the ones that were comforting and supportive but not at all pushy. They were also the ones that didn't mind, at all, as I teared up getting into the seat of my first coaster ride, and were the ones that let me hold their hands as tight as I needed to for the, um, entire ride. :) They were also the ones that got the first smile and big hug when we got off and I decided that I LOVED it. They were right. :) I was okay.

But, I remember how long that line felt, when we first got on it... then I remember how quick it seemed to go when it was our turn to step up the the gate and then get on the ride... ugh. I could have thrown up right then and there... I was so scared and nervous that my body was one big tight knot. I had a headache and some muscle soreness after the ride from being so tense. I just couldn't wait for it to all be over with.

Then the relief as it started, and I really was okay... but I was still anticipating something horrible to happen... some really bad feeling to come over me and make me hate this entire experience... make all my stress and worries come true.... then finally in less than 3 minutes I was put out of my misery... it was fun, a blast I would even say, I did great... I laughed and smiled and LOVED it all and would have done it again, except for that long ass line.

I'm sure this is the feelings, or similar to the ones that my mom is feeling.... she is scared. I can only imagine... I'm scared for her too. I just got home from her house a little while ago... I had her laughing some, so maybe she will think of some of the dumb/stupid/funny and ridiculous things I said while there, tonight when she can't sleep... and keep her mind slightly off of her surgery tomorrow, which they moved up to her being there at 7am... which is better. I highly doubt she will sleep tonight anyway... she doesn't sleep on a good night, let alone the night before her surgery.

My stomach isn't very happy today either... I guess I am more stressed then I was letting myself believe I was. I know in my heart that things will go just fine... my mom is a healthy person, she isn't on any medications at all. Her BP is good, her cholesterol is good, everything is fine with her... except this... and this will be fine after tomorrows surgery too. It is just getting from tonight till tomorrow in the recovery room.

I'm not sure how much I will sleep tonight and how I will be able to just sit around tomorrow waiting for a phone call to say that she is out of surgery and doing great. I'm going to be one big raw nerve... worse than waiting online for that damn roller coaster.

I'm off to fold some laundry and worry some more.

14 comments:

LceeL said...

Just think about the relief she's going to feel when it's all over. My wife had gall bladder and it was REALLY painful. She had a few days of discomfort after the surgery, but she felt so much better, the discomfort didn't matter.

Sandy C. said...

Jenn, you're such a good daughter. This was such a great entry from the heart. Like you said, I think the anticipation is one of the toughest parts to endure. I hope the next 24 hours go quickly for you all, and everything goes without a hitch tomorrow. That is wonderful she is healthy. Hopefully this will give her some much needed relief soon.

Jennifer said...

Lou & Sandy...

thank you both so very much. I'm still planted here in front of the computer trying to find something to occupy my mind... but of course I can't. Your kind words of comfort and support mean so much to me!

thank you again!!

love, jenn

LceeL said...

Thank you for the very kind comments regarding my art and my WW picture. I've never had anybody look at so much of my stuff at once. And comment. Your sweet .. and thank you, again.

You're on my 'daily' list, now. I check your blog every morning - at least, for the last few days. I haven't had time to go back into your archives, yet, but I will. I want to know more.

Annie said...

Lots of (((hugs))). My mom had her gallbladder removed last year, and she came through with flying colors. Your mom will too!!! I'll be thinking of you.

Jennifer said...

Lou, I loved getting to see all that wonderful art... and the pictures of it all progressing and unfolding was truly amazing. :)

I wish I had a forth of your talent. :) I really do.

my older posts are probably rather boring... I'm not really a good writer... not as good as I am a talker at least!! lol

for some reason I come up with better stuff when I comment on peoples blogs then when I try to post on my own!! lol

but thank you very much for your interst!!

xoxoxo

Jennifer said...

Annie,

thanks for the kind words! i'm glad that your mom did so well with her surgery... I know that my mom will be fine too... just getting from now to then is the hard part... i know she is really nervous for it.

i'll be posting an update tomorrow.

thanks again!!
xoxox love, Jenn

jenn said...

I'm thinking of you and your mom...if you need to talk, you know where I am!

Rhea said...

Worrying is so horrible. I feel for ya. BTW, I just remembered, my grandfather, who is in his 70's, had back surger this year, along with knee surgery AND had his gall bladder removed. I don't know how he did it all. I'm in shock but he seems to be doing great.

Jennifer said...

Jenn ~

thanks so much!! :) I know, you of all people, right now know exactly what my mom is feeling. do you have any suggestions for what I can say to her or do for her in the morning when I see her before her surgery?? I won't be able to go to the hospital with her... i cannot and will not take the three kids there, but I will go see her in the morning at her house before she leaves??

i'm nervous, and she knows that, but i know she will be okay. i want her to know i love her, but don't want her to get any more emotional than she is... or make her think, I think it will go badly.... b/c i don't.

thanks for all the support!!
xoxoxo
love, Jenn

Jennifer said...

Rhea...

I'm tired out just hearing about all the surgeries that your grandfather had. wow. I'm glad he did all them and is doing great now!! :)

thank you for your support and well wishes!! they are really appreciated. :)

xoxoxo
love, Jenn

Stephanie said...

Keep me posted, I am still keeping her in my thoughts.

Kellan said...

Oh, I will keep your mother in my prayers tonight - hope all goes well and she recovers quickly! Take care - Kellan

LceeL said...

Thinking about you and your Mom and her surgery ... Just wanted to let you know she's on my mind and in my prayers.

~ Hi. Glad you stopped by. Come on in, kick off your shoes, put your feet up relax, grab a drink and stay a while. ~